24 Sep 2009
Freedom
He who knows others is wise;
He who knows himself is enlightened.
He who conquers himself is strong.
He who is contented is rich.
He who acts with vigor has will.
He who does not lose his place (with Tao) will endure.
He who dies but does not really perish enjoys long life.
- Lao Tzu (Tao-Te Ching #33) -
Reading this brought me back to a humiliating experience when I was still a novice. As a novice, I had a cloistered life. I just can’t go out anytime I wanted. Besides I didn’t have the money to defray strolling expenses.
At that particular experience, I was so happy because I was allowed to go out to the mall to buy materials needed for our apostolate activity. Two other novices went with me to get their haircut. When we arrived at the mall, we went straight to the barbershop. I left my two other companions there and walked toward the school supplies section of the mall.
I was enjoying the sites inside the mall, watching people passing by, when a guard suddenly approached me and said, “Sir pwede po ba kayong maimbitahan sa office?” (Sir, can we invite you to the office?) I did not hesitate because I thought I won in a promo. I willingly followed the guard. Inside the office, the guard said, “Sir, pasensya na, nakita kase namin kayo na may kinuha sa men’s accessories’ section.” (Sir, sorry about this but we saw that you got something from the men’s accessories section.) I was accused for shoplifting. I was accused for pocketing a belt.
I started to get nervous. I didn’t know what to say. My legs were numbed. Even if the office was fully air-conditioned, I was sweating profusely. I was struggling to stay relax and be still. Of course, I denied the accusation. The manager said, “Sabi mo hindi ka guilty bakit ka pinapawisan?” (You said you are not guilty, but why are you sweating profusely?) I answered, “Sino ba namang hindi pagpawisan sa sitwasyon ko?” (Who would not be sweating in my situation?)
I was detained in the office for almost three hours. It was a torture. It was three hours of mix emotions. I felt nervous, angry, humiliated, and helpless; I felt that I was in prison. Name any emotion that you can think of, I believe I had experienced them altogether in that three hours.
I am sharing this experience because it was an experience that was followed by an experience of freedom. When I was proven not guilty, I felt being set free (indescribable and unforgettable). Trying to put my feelings into words: It was an experience of great relief, like surviving from a very difficult examination. I call it, a wow experience– an experience of liberation– an experience of freedom.
In connection to the Tao-Te Ching, I realized that what followed after the initial feeling of being physically freed was more crucial. When I had proven without a doubt my innocence, I had many options in my mind. First, I could have sued the mall for accusing me of shoplifting. Second, I could have demanded to fire the security guard who detained me. Third, I could have chosen to simply accept that I was a victim of an honest human mistake, which being imperfect is prone to commit. I thought that the third option was a losers’ choice. However, at that particular instance, I chose the last option.
When the security guard said his apology, I felt his sincerity. I felt that he was trembling and was fearful that he could loose his post. When I looked at him, I said to myself, “He is just doing his job.” At that very moment I forgot my anger from being shamed and humiliated. I can still remember telling the manager that I choose not to sue them and I accept the security guard’s apology. I asked them if they can just let me go because I was hungry and I was late for our vocation rosary. It was only then that they discovered that I am a seminarian. The manager gave me pizza to eat and money to pay for my taxi.
Looking back, I know I did something that does not perish. I did something that is meaningful. And that is more important. I believe that this experience is memorable to the security guard, to the manager and to the staffs who were witnesses to the incident. I don’t know how such experience changed them. But for me, it was an act not out of wisdom, not out of strength nor will, not out of satisfaction and content, but an act out of goodness to others. This makes such action immortal. It continues to fuel me as I continue to live my life pursuing the Good.
When difficult moments come, I just think of this experience and I know it will surely make me smile. This experience happened three years ago, but it was like yesterday whenever I try to relish and savor it. It is a freeing experience when I was found innocent but accepting the apology of the security guard is more liberating.
- Jun-G Bargayo, SJ –
ang galing-galing mo tsong!
nakakabilib!
parang kailan lang noh? matagal na pala yun, pero parang fresh na fresh yung alaalang iyon…
prone ka nga talaga sa mga ganyang WOW experience (and ‘WOW MALI’ experience) bro.
bro continue to inspire others sa mga humbling experiences mo!
jun-g: oo nga… bakit kaya?… hehehe… salamat kapatid.
Bro. Yano
September 24th, 2009 at 2:00 pmpermalink
wow! lalo ko po kayong hinangan with this experience. if you were an ordinary person like me, i should have sued them or fired the security guard. thank u for sharing this and for keeping us inspired with your wonderful stories.
Godbless!
jun-g: I consider that moment, a moment of grace…
Jorge
September 24th, 2009 at 11:49 ampermalink
“I believe that this experience is memorable to the security guard, to the manager and to the staffs who were witnesses to the incident. I don’t know how such experience changed them.”
Maybe you will find wisdom in Tarc’s blog on a similar light: http://mid-life-angst.blogspot.com/2008/09/one-day-in-taxicab-from-letter-sent-to.html
jun-g: naku… hindi ko na maalala ang mukha ng security guard at nung manager… mabibigla siguro ako kung maalala nila ako… hehehe… but tama si tarc… at least nakagawa ka ng tama at maganda sa kapwa… generosity becomes itself when nothing is the return. it is real giving. bonus nalang kung may bumalik na ano man uri ng pasasalamat.
di man sila nabago, pero ako nagbago… yun ang panalo!
renee
September 24th, 2009 at 2:49 pmpermalink
People make mistakes. It’s our reaction to other people’s mistake that determines our heart condition. Buti na lang gracious ka. What did you do in the three hour wait?
Bakit ka raw ba napagkamalan?
I was just passing by through DFish’s blog. Have great day!
jun-g: bakit ako napagkamalan? pareho po kulay ng damit ang suot ng kumuha… pareho din built namin… kahawig din daw… hehehe…
salamat po sa pagdaan dito…
Mahalia
September 24th, 2009 at 5:49 pmpermalink
Korek
sa anumang bagay na ginagawa natin, bonus na pag nakakadulot ito ng epekto sa iba. Ang tanong natin dapat palagi: how did this experience deepen my faith,hope and love?
renee
September 24th, 2009 at 6:49 pmpermalink
hehe talaga kuya hanep tong estoryang to ha.. hehe
jun-g: hanep ang pawis ko ng panahon na yun… hehehe… salamat po sa pagbasa…
Erick
September 25th, 2009 at 9:37 ampermalink
ang galing mo talaga magkwento, feeling ko tuloy nandun ako sa moment mo na to.
i read it kahapun actually di ako nagreply agad kasi gusto ko muna siya pagnilaynilay gaya ni “mr. dfish”.
word for the day ko “SMILE” …(,”)
jun-g: galing ng mga insights ni dFish… hehehe…
sige nga makapag SMILE na rin nga… naku, matutuwa dito sa livingstain… hehehe…
melina
September 25th, 2009 at 10:28 ampermalink
It is in the process of ‘waiting’.. together with so many blended emotions that even yourself can’t tell which is which becomes dominant. Nervous. Angst. Rage. Stun. Frustration.
You tried to relax. Inspire. Expire. But when you again remember that you are still in ‘that scenario,’ your relaxation was again disturbed.
jun-g: totoo po yan…
—
I was also accused with shoplifting. It’s funny. Together with two other friends when a staff accused us of shoplifting an item with a receipt. In that scenario, I learned that you need to be respectful and explain in the best of your ability your side.
jun-g: hahaha… kaya pala alam mo yung pakiramdam… hehehe…
—
T’was high school days. A group of seminarians would meet our class. We would do bonding moments while they teach us. Sometimes, they would provide contests. One amusement I would not forget is a bonding game with the whole class. The rules are somewhat complex. A mind game. In which in order to win, you have to betray other teams. Nah, so much for that.
I would never forget those seminaristas.
jun-g: okie yung game ah… mahirap yun… betray? buti nalang game yun… pano kung sa real life?… haaay…
these seminarians… hehehe
Ax
September 26th, 2009 at 4:08 ampermalink
hoooo… kinuha mo talaga ang belt eh.
hahaha joke.
so curious lang, bakit ka napaghinalaan? hehe
for sure the security guard and manager will pass on the act of mercy to another person
jun-g: hindi po talaga… hehehe… naexplain ko na po ito sa comment ni mahalia…
passing on the act of mercy… naalala ko yung movie na “Pay It Forward”
Bambi
September 26th, 2009 at 8:56 ampermalink
pers taym ko po sa blog niyo kaya pa-base ako. weh.
hindi ko po alam ang gagawin kong sakin mangyari yun. lalo na po siguro kung mag-isa ako. pagbintangan ba naman akong shoplifter? tsk. tsk. kung ako yun, baka sampahan ko ng kaso yung management.
sana po mapadaan din kayo sa blog ko.
jun-g: salamat po sa pagbisita dito… actually, di ko rin alam kung ano ang gagawin ko that time… mahirap na sitwasyon takaga yun…
sige po… bibisitahin ko rin blog mo…
.poOt!
September 27th, 2009 at 3:35 pmpermalink
this is hilarious and at the same time enlightening
goodness goes a long way,maybe not today,maybe soon
God bless
jun-g: Got a comment from an idol writer… wow! hehehe… musta na po?
Rosemarie Jamerlan
September 28th, 2009 at 1:56 pmpermalink
anu kaya gagawin ko kung ako un inakusahan?? hmm.. malamang traumatic saken un. tsktsk.
gusto ko ung words of wisdom. panalo
tsenn'
October 3rd, 2009 at 11:18 ampermalink
bilib na jud ko nimo bro… siguro kung ako na ingon ato nagyawyaw na ko… asa man na gikan imong virtues? puede makahuram? =)
ediflor
October 26th, 2009 at 8:01 pmpermalink